Hello guys! How are you all? I know I’ve been absent for quite some time again and I’m super sorry about that. With what’s happening around us now, I feel it’s especially hard to get into writing. Heck, even my drawing is suffering right now. Anyway, I feel like for the most part, I’m slowly adjusting to a new way of living. How are things where you live?
In New Jersey
Ever since we got the first case of the virus in the state back in March, I’ve been in constant fear of the outdoors and other people. I feel like that fear still hasn’t left and hasn’t changed much in intensity, however I’m at least relieved we’re seeing less hospitalizations each day.
I never ever thought I’d be so anxious going food shopping, but a lot of things happening now are completely new to me, no doubt to many others. I’m super anxious because one of the most problematic symptoms we were all warned about was that the virus affects your respiratory system. I have a weak immune system and have asthma. ON TOP OF THAT, I work as a dental hygienist, which is a very high risk job, especially if the virus is airborne and can spread through droplets. It was all so scary.
Mental Health is Horrible
I’m not going to lie, my mental health feels like it’s constantly in the dumps. I’m so much more emotional (both angry and prone to crying) than usual. I have trouble sleeping at night (and I’m sure many of you have this problem too). Another reason I probably can’t sleep well at night is that I have a bad pillow I need to replace (that I neglected to do months ago). I can’t wait to go back to my chiropractor because I feel like an 80 year old.
But anyway, yeah. I’m trying to play more games and draw. It’s been helpful and my mental health has slowly improved. My neck, shoulders, and back still need to be replaced. Ugh.
No Work, No Money
I’m not really trying to complain to you guys but at the same time, I’m venting because I’m extremely frustrated at the system. From some news article I read this morning, apparently about 30 million Americans had filed for unemployment so far. It’s a CRAZY amount, but at the same time I’m not surprised.
I also filed for unemployment, around mid-March. Up to this day, I have received nothing from Unemployment, despite the system showing me how much I should be receiving. There’s essentially no one you can call for help; only an automated phone message that tells you to call tomorrow and then hangs up after you try to press 0 for a live agent or something.
The stimulus check was a saving grace for many people, but I’m also ineligible for that because I’m technically still a dependent. I can’t tell you how many times I was denied financial aid or couldn’t claim HUGE $$$ in my income tax returns because I was a dependent. IT IS FREAKING INFURIATING!!
I just discovered a student emergency grant application available at my community college website tonight actually, and this may be my only chance of getting any money during this time. I’m crossing my fingers that I can get something here, otherwise I think I’m just going to break down and cry (not like it will be my first time, heh heh).
Besides the “having no money” problem, I’m fighting so many urges to spend my money, whether it’s on a K-Beauty skin peel (*cough* Aprilskin *cough*) or a cute vinyl sticker from a fellow artist.
I love that my classes are online. Not only were some of my meeting times pushed back to 9 am so I can sleep in, but I don’t have to change out of my PJ’s or even brush my hair before class starts. I can sip my coffee and eat my Hot Pockets while lecture is happening – it’s pretty great!
What is NOT great is the fact that all the days are mixed up and I often don’t know what day it is. Sometimes I get really disoriented because my alarm went off at 8:45 am and I’m thinking it’s Saturday when it’s really Tuesday. At some point in mid-April, I thought it was still March? Maybe I’m just really going crazy.
I have about one full week and a few days left of the Spring semester, and I CAN’T WAIT to be done with it!!
Some Good News
Of course, I saved good news for last. At the end of March, I actually launched my online art and stationery shop, Geraldine Draws! I’ve only got a few items in there, but I’m super proud of the work I put into making the site as well as the products themselves. The best part is I’m able to make most of the things I’m selling in the shop at home! No need to wait for some company outside the state or country to ship it to me.
Some of you had already went ahead and bought some things from my store, which I am so grateful for! I never anticipated having that many orders that I received, so that was a really surprising and awesome moment for me. I’m definitely using most of that money to reinvest in my shop and probably get more printer ink. The small fraction I set aside for myself went to that week’s groceries, so thank you, you guys! You know who you are! ♡
I wanted to make a bangin’ Spring sticker series, but that kind of flopped because the art block and lack of motivation hit me. Welp, on to Mother’s Day stuff!
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’m safe and still virus free. I hope you all are, too! ♡
Until next time, who knows when that is!! Haha!